You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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