He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
