I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
