Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
