dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
