I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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