just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She's the barista slut.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
