felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
