The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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