addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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