Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
