Banned from zoo.
Again?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
