It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
