it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
