yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
