Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
