But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
