The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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