So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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