Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
