you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize