sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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