I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
