Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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