I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He shit in the fireplace
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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