Dual....:-)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
