Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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