omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
