i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize