census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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