It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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