how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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