you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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