so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
