apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
