But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
