More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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