is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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