Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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