Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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