I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Green mimosas i think yes
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
