As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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