I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
