I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
