your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
