Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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