she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
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