I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
