He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
