Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
