Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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