No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't deserve a penis
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
