end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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