so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
