We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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