shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
