On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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