This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
