it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
