well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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