I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
