your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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