therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
