There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
