So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
