Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
pray to the hookup gods
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
