Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
