Where are you?
In a non slutty way
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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