hotel room ftw
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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